She said that Carla had mentioned these feelings to her and that they had discussed them. Janine said that she told Carla to act on her feelings, not "hold them in", to "give it a try". She said that she knew that I would never do anything to Carla or make her do anything that would be harmful or mean. I assured her of that. I get the impression that there has been a good bit of discussion of what these two wanted in sexual experiences between them.I then told Janine that some of the things that I would tell Carla to do would involve activity with her. Janine looked sort of pleased. She said that she had "been with some women before and really enjoyed it". She denied having had sex with Carla before but said that she thought that "Carla is beautiful and I love her body" and indicated that she had no problem with any of this. As I indicated earlier, I think that Janine may want to use this to exercise a sort of control or dominion over Carla.Carla returned and we all kind of loved on. Im happy with work and other than my wifes occasional encounter Im happy at home. Then there is her father, he has only warmed to me since our son died. I have just worked my way into his good graces what would he think if I got canned? I also doubt anyone else would have me, it may just be insecurity, but I dont want to find out Im right. I could end up flipping burgers under the golden arches, homeless because she took everything and I would become a lonely destitute bum. I dont think I could take the shame of being fired either. Just walking out the office I felt embarrassed and knew everyone was watching me. I felt their disapproving eyes on me. Im sure everyone assumed I was done when I walked out the door with my head hung low and moved straight to the elevators. The drive to the house seemed to take forever. Traffic wasnt heavy, but I dreaded asking my wife to fuck someone for me. Meg had never tried to hide her affairs. If anything, she rubbed my face in them. She spoke of.
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